He has serious issues but refuses to change


Dr LoveI have been in love with the same guy for two years, and we have a great relationship. I know he has some serious issues though, and these have caused us a lot of problems in the past. He says I should accept him the way he is, because he accepts my flaws, but I don’t know if I have any serious problems the way he does. I want to help him change for the better, but don’t know if he ever will. Should I just do as he says and learn to live with his issues? What if he never changes?
It’s presumptuous and unfair to think of oneself as flawless in a relationship. Your partner may have serious issues that need addressing, but it makes sense to first accept that you may both have to make changes for your future together. You don’t have to ask him to change. What you should do is tell him what you like and don’t like, so he starts to understand you a little better. When you both make accommodations based on each other’s likes and dislikes, there will come a time when you find a balancing act that allows your relationship to evolve. This takes time though, so it really is up to you and how prepared you are to wait for this to happen.

This may sound shallow, but I have been having second thoughts about dating a doctor since the COVID-19 virus lockdown. He never tested positive, but I keep worrying about him getting some kind of infection, and it makes me feel awful as I didn’t have these thoughts before the pandemic.
It’s normal to feel the way you do, given that no one on the planet was prepared for the pandemic, let alone its aftermath. Assuming you still love this person, it may help to tell him how you feel. He is better qualified to put your fears to rest. You can also consider speaking to a counsellor.

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