Haven fallen hard for my best friend


Dr LoveI had sex with my best friend a few weeks ago, when we went out of town with a big group of common friends. It was just something that happened because we were sharing a room together. I can’t stop thinking about him since then. I want to be his girlfriend but don’t know if he will consider this seriously because he has never expressed any romantic interest in me. How do I get him to start considering a relationship with me?

If he is your best friend, what stops you from being honest about that encounter and what it meant for you? If this compels him to think of you in a new light, you can both have a conversation about what that means. If he explains why he doesn’t see you as a partner, you will have to accept that you still have him as your best friend, unless you want to jeopardize that relationship. Either way, all you can do is open up and talk about this.

My parents want me to get married because I broke up with my boyfriend a year ago. We were together for 4 years, so our split came as a shock to them. They now think the relationship ended because it was my fault and want me to consider proposals from their family friends. I don’t want to marry just because they don’t think I can’t find someone for myself. What should I do?

They are your parents and, presumably, have your best interests at heart. If they blame you for the failure of a relationship, have you tried putting across your point of view? Do you spend time, as a family, trying to understand each other? That is critical not just to what they want for you in the immediate future. Talk to them about their expectations of you, why it doesn’t meet your own expectations, and what your plans for your future are. As an adult, you don’t have to do anything you are not comfortable with.

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